Mirrors
by t3ars0fglass
Summary: "I looked in the mirror. Perhaps you should do the same." Post season 2, I own nothing:( My take on what happens after they board the ship to Neverland...may or may not be a oneshot. Review and tell me what you think!
1. Chapter 1

Hook stared intently at Regina, as her hands gripped the sides of the boat railings so that she could lean over and watch the soft splashing of the waves against the side of the ship. Her hair blew across her face in long strands that threatened to cover her dark eyes, and her crimson lips pulled into a pout. He watched as diamond shaped tears rolled off of her cheeks, hitting the wooden sides with a "plop" and his heart wrenched at the sounds coming from her. Her black clad shoulders heaved forward with every sob, but her cries did nothing to mar the beauty the pirate saw in her.

Before he had met her, back in the Enchanted Forest, Hook had heard many tales of the Evil Queen. People had made her to be one of the ugliest souls that had ever existed, but when he met her, when he saw the hollowness in her eyes that bore into his own soul, he realized that she was just like him. Both had suffered great loss at the hands of a cruel individual, and both had guarded their hearts with the strongest of steel, as not to allow anyone to pass. But the scraggly pirate knew what it was like to live like that, to be utterly alone in the world, to have no one, nothing to care for.

He knew her story of course, the heroine who was rewarded with the title of "Queen."

But Killian knew that there was a much darker part of the tale hidden deep inside of her, and it grew with every painful tear at her heart until it breathed and thrived from the hatred that boiled within. It was fiery, more passionate than love, and it thirsted for revenge on the person responsible for her suffering; it scorched her blood and tainted the purity she once held in the palms of her hands. It had turned the queen into nothing.

As the captain watched her, he didn't see a broken woman; he didn't see the evil that was so prominent to everyone else. He saw a strong girl who had been beaten down, who needed someone to pick her back up again, who was too afraid to let anyone do just that. Hook's gut twisted, forming knots in the center of his belly as he realized exactly what he was looking at; a mirror. Quickly, his thoughts drawing back into his mind, Killian stood. The wooden box he had been sitting on lifted off of the deck and then clashed back down again.

The sound was enough to stir Regina from her sorrow, and she pivoted on her heels to pinpoint the racket. Her eyes met his before he had the time to slip away into the darkness of his quarters, and for a moment, her will betrayed her. A look of horror flashed across her features, but it had vanished, only to be replaced with the ice cold mask he had gotten so accustomed to. Hook found himself missing the heart broken woman—the real Regina—even more than he cared to admit.

"How long have you been sitting there?" Regina demanded. She had meant for it to come out a strong, clear command, but her voice was raspy from silent wails, and it came out more like a small child, abused and scared to ask for help.

"Long enough, love." The pirate answered as his boot covered feet stomped over the damp, wooden flooring of his ship. He dared to approach her, his arms out wide to show that he would not hurt her, like a doe in the woods. Her aggressive stance relaxed slightly under the moonlight, but her face did not change, and it didn't stop her from being any more offended that he would treat her so delicately. Gently, his good arm gripped her shoulder, tugging her to him. Her head hit his hard chest, and her palms lay flat on the muscles that had been covered by the white, cotton shirt and leather jacket along his torso. His other arm cautiously wrapped around her mid-back, and the dingy man squeezed her tightly.

It was unexpected, but Regina found she felt comforted for the first time in a long while; she couldn't help burying her face into his shoulder as the warmth from his body seeped through her thinly layered cardigan. She visibly shuddered. Hook, having felt the shake, leaned over the box and grabbed one of the burlap box coverings. He pulled away, only briefly, to hang it around her shoulders before bringing her back to his chest.

"Why?" She asked suddenly, though she kept her face buried in his clothing.

"I'm rather good at tellin' when someone's n'need of a hug, love." His arms tightened around her when he heard the strangled cry that tore from her lips.

"I promised him." Regina whispered, so quiet the sound was almost lost in the night-time breeze. "I promised him I would never let him be alone, and now he's lost somewhere in Neverland…and there's nothing I can do."

Hook frowned deeply, the sides of his mouth barely able to hang on to his face. He buried his cheek into her soft, brown hair. "You'll find him, Regina." He muttered.

"You can't possibly know that, Captain."

"No, I can't." He responded dryly. "But, I do know you, and if there's one thing you're good at, Your Majesty, it's getting what you want."

Regina tilted her head up to glare at him for saying something so…so cheesy, but she found herself lost in his most prominent feature, his deep blue eyes. Her hands crept up his chest, ghosted their way over his brawny shoulders to his neck. Her thumbs paused at the line of his jawbone before she finally lost her resolve, and teetering forward on the toes of her heels, Regina pulled herself upward and gently placed a kiss to the pirate's lips.

It was brief, softer than anything, and it barely counted as a real kiss, but Hook pushed that thought to the back of his mind. She wasn't pushing for anything romantic, not now when her son was lost in another world, away from those who loved him; she was saying thank you. He had to keep that in mind, more for his own resistance than he knew was for hers, but the display warmed his heart more than he thought possible.

He watched her go, disappearing into the black shadows of his ship's hallway, and faintly, he heard the click that promised him she had gone to her room. Still, he stood in the middle of the deck with his arms hanging limply by his sides. The edge of his hook scraped against his leather pants, but they did not tear. His good hand raised slightly, slipped into his jacket pocket frantically to find the slip of old parchment paper. His fingers found it with ease, and he gently pulled it out. As he stared at the picture, he sighed heavily. "Milah, what am I going to do?" The edge of his silver hook dragged smoothly over her face, until his mind had been put at ease. Slowly, he folded the drawing into four simple squares and slipped it back into his pocket, but his hand never left it for fear of the return of heartache.

It wasn't until he heard the clear, expecting cough that he realized someone had been watching. The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end, and he could still feel the slight tingle that had been left in the absence of Regina's hands. "What do you want, Savior?" He drawled lazily, not even bothering to turn around to face the young blonde. His tongue darted out quickly to lick his lips, a nervous tick that he had tried to rid himself of for centuries.

Emma clucked her tongue with a knowing grin, but she did not push the captain; she knew all too well how that had turned out for her before. "So, you and Regina, then, huh?"

Killian turned quickly. "No, but I suggest that in the future you mind your own damn business. Her whereabouts have nothing to do with you, or your precious, little family. So, until they do, leave her the hell alone."

Emma's eyes widened at the pirates defensiveness over a woman he had tried to have killed not even twenty-four hours beforehand. What had happened so suddenly that had the independent swashbuckler fending for someone other than himself? Her prying eyes searched his face skeptically, but he ignored them as he turned to leave. "What happened to your 'All For One, and None For All' attitude, Hook?" Her tone was sharp and demanding, and the man had to smirk inwardly before he answered her over his shoulder, his left foot already on the staircase.

"I looked in the mirror, Emma. Perhaps you should do the same."

* * *

The morning sun rose to show its radiant face, only to be covered by dark storm clouds that sagged with the masses of water they carried inside of them. Thunder rolled loudly in the distance; it cackled after each flash of light that brightened the sky for mere seconds at a time. The tide was strong, and large waves lurched over the railings of the deck, slapping the wooden floor as they crashed against the Jolly Roger.

The boat, which had been so steady the night before, rocked back and forth on its sides; the movements threatened to throw the motley group over the edge and into the rough waters. They kept on however, Hook at the wheel and the rest of the Charmings hoisting the sails or acting as swabbies. Rumpelstiltskin, surprisingly, was acting as the rigger, and had climbed the single Jacob's Ladder up the mast of the ship. There he sat, toying with the various ropes whilst the others pulled most of his weight around the large boat.

Hook watched in amusement as the royals attempted to correctly man his vessel, but the absence of the woman that had run through his head the entire night did not slip past him. He tore his gaze from the group of novices and directed it over to the door that led to her quarters. She was still in there, he was positive. Regina had not shown her face for breakfast, whether it be gruel or not, and the door had not even been cracked open in the slightest since the previous night. The infamous pirate pulled his lips into a fine line over the base of his chin, pressing them together until they turned white from the pressure. His eyes stung from lack of blinking, and his mouth ran dry. His heart beat a little faster when her face popped into his mind, and Killian couldn't resist letting go of the wheel for only a second.

The ship took a sharp dive to the right, and the captain was forced to remember why he couldn't leave his post without being thrown into the murky waters below him. His pursed lips released themselves so that he could breathe, but they soon recoiled into a frown as the fingers of his good hand hit the engraving under the stern. _North, South, East, West, _he remembered, and for a moment, his eyes travelled up to his enemy. Their gazes locked for a brief amount of time; Rumple pulled his upper lip back so that he was snarling.

Hook looked away quickly. It was neither the time nor place to start a duel between a pirate and an imp. His hand gripped one side of the wheel, his hook rested nonchalantly on one of the pegs. Water from the waves splashed him in the face, and the wind coursed through his dark hair. It felt good to be back on the water, to have something that made him feel right. He had something that made him feel sane.

* * *

Regina's arms flew out to grip the sides of her bunk when the boat hit another sharp wave. Her stomach dropped, and her legs drew in so that she curled around herself. Both arms wrapped around her shins, and hands interlocked tightly. Her back rested heavily against the planked wall; everything seemed alright until she had to sprawl out once more to keep her balance.

Absentmindedly, the queen fiddled with the locket around her neck. Deft fingers opened and closed it, and sharp eyes took fleeting seconds to stare at the faces of her parents. Tears leaked down the side of Regina's cheeks, shattering on the red fleece coverlet on her bed. Silently, she cried over her losses; she cried over Daniel, she cried over her father, and she cried over her mother. She refused, however, to cry over her son, for he was not lost to her yet.

She heeded the pirate's words from the night, she would find him, she would save him, and Henry would finally love her back. Of course, she told herself these things, but in reality, she knew he would go crawling back to Emma and praise her, because she was the _Savior. _His biological family could do no wrong by him, but every time she, the woman who had loved and raised him for ten years, messed up, the young boy went right back to hating her and referring to her by "Regina."

She supposed that was what hurt her the most: the fact that Henry couldn't even bare to call her mom after he found out the truth. Just for a moment, though, Regina pretended that he hadn't received the book, that he still loved her. It felt nice, but without Henry actually being there, the emptiness still took hold of her heart.

Up until recently, her heart had been fine, and it hadn't bothered her that it had been darkened. But eventually, the pain had snuck up on her, and it seized the organ and squeezed it like a balloon. Her chest convulsed all of the time, as though her lungs were going to explode. The queen had even considered ripping it out, only for a little while, but her eyes found the picture of her mother in the locket, and she thought better of it.

When the ship hit another wave, Regina was brought out of her dark thoughts as she toppled off of her bunk; her body landed on the floor and she winced painfully as she continued to tumble around. Eventually, a black heeled foot found leverage, and she was able to reach out two perfectly manicured hands to pull herself up.

Regina stumbled over to the door, not even paying attention to the fact that one of her heels had broken off and her shirt had ripped when it had caught the edge of the bed. Her right hand trailed longingly along the wooden wall, ready to grip the railings if the need should arise. The raven woman limped out to the deck, careful not to slip.

Killian was the first to see her, and even though he resisted the urge to release the wheel, he couldn't help but call out to her. She looked disheveled, painfully so, but it wasn't until she turned to face him that the pirate noticed the tear in her night shirt. He grabbed the closest person to him, which happened to be Charming, and dragged the taller man to where he once stood. David gripped the wheel, a confused look dawning over his face, his shirt billowing in the wind. "Just…just don't let it turn." The brigand ordered.

Hook raced over to Regina; his hand grabbed her shoulder and pushed her away to examine her. "Are you alright, love? What happened? Are you hurt?"

Regina frowned. This was the absolute last thing she needed. "Get out of my way, Pirate." She growled. Killian furrowed his dark brows in confusion, but he did not move. "I said move!"

After a moment of stillness, he stepped to the side to let her by. She glared at him as she passed, but her eyes told a different story. This was the mask he had begun to know so very well; this was not her, not Regina. It couldn't be. He saw the sorrow in her eyes, the twitch her lip made when she tried not to move her face. He saw the slight slump in her shoulders as she moved past him, one broken heel after another. He noticed the locket she fidgeted with, the one that hung low around her slim neck. His eyes raked down her body, and out of his peripherals, he saw the spunky blonde approach her.

"Well it's about time, Regina. Where the hell have you been?" Emma demanded with her hands on her hips defensively. Snow stopped her mopping, turned to her daughter and moved slowly to stand beside her; she wore the same demanding and defensive look the blonde did, but her brows furrowed softly.

"None of your damn business, Ms. Swan. Excuse me." Killian saw her try to move, he saw the rope that had gotten wrapped around her ankle, and he saw how she jerked to the side, stumbling over her own feet to the railing of the ship. The surprised scream that tore from her throat startled the mother-daughter duo, and had Hook next to her in an instant.

Her hand caught the railing as her back hit it and sent her flying over, and Regina tried to keep her grip on the side. Emma grabbed her arm to pull her back over, and Snow reached for her other, but because the deck was so wet, the former queen's hands slipped right through their own. "Regina!" Hook shouted as she splashed through the surface of the ocean. Rough waves tumbled her about, occasionally slamming her against the side of the ship. She lost control for a moment, forgot where she was and how to swim, how to breathe. Regina slipped under the surface as more waves came over her, and in an attempt to get air, she inhaled the seawater.

The brunette was losing air, and fast. She had never been the best of swimmers; she had never really even taken the time to learn. As she twisted and turned in the water, she realized she regretted that immensely. Her hair flung in front of her face, into her mouth where it got caught, and she desperately tried to choke it out.

Her lungs hurt; they begged for air, and she found herself losing consciousness almost entirely. She was only vaguely aware of the coolness the water brought her, of the light that filtered through her eyes. It wasn't until she saw Henry's face in the brightness that she let go completely.

* * *

Hook stood above deck, rope in hand. "Hold this, tie it around the rails, mate." He shoved the end of one side to Rumple and tied the other around his waist. "When I pull, drag us up." Snow and Emma nodded, placing both hands on the edge and leaning over to get a better view. The imp behind them tied the ropes to the center pole on the boat, and he held on in case he felt his pull.

Killian dove over the edge; the rope billowed out behind him like a bouncing chord. His hands hit the water first, and it took him only a second to adjust his eyes to see. His arms moved frantically about, desperate to find the woman.

He saw her figure slowly floating down into the dark depths of the sea. Her arms reached out in front of her, but her face was passive, just like the rest of her body. Her hair was strung out around her; it looked longer when it was wet. The pirate swam—as hard as he could—but he found it more difficult the deeper he got.

When he reached her, Hook wrapped his incapacitated arm around her waist, his hook sunk through one of the belt loops on her pants. His other hand reached out to cup the nape of her neck, and gently, he pressed his mouth to hers, blowing the last bit of air he had into her lungs. Her chest convulsed; her eyes shot open and she tried to breathe, but his firm hand around her kept her from doing so. Quickly, he tugged the rope around his waist, and it began to pull them closer to the water line.

Regina wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, and his arm wound tightly around her waist. She was crying, he could feel it as her body shook with sobs.

When they reached the deck, Hook pulled himself over, but Regina didn't loosen her hold on him. Her face buried into the crook of his neck, so that she inhaled his scent when she breathed in. Her eyes were clamped shut, and she could barely make out the sound of the others yelling to see if she was alright. Hook turned his head slightly to whisper in her ear. "Are you alright, Regina?"

She shook her head quickly. "Don't let go of me." She whispered sadly against his body. His other arm immediately came up to wrap around her lower back as he pulled her impossibly closer.

"Never."

**Okay, new story. Tell me what you think. Let me know if you think I should continue it, and for all of you Evil Charming shippers, go read Chelseadaggz Shadow of Love. It's absolutely to dieeee forrrr!**

**So, read, review, and maybe I'll update?:) **


	2. Chapter 2

There was silence, absolute silence as the former Evil Queen remained attached to the dingy pirate beneath her. The waves had calmed, and the sullen weather retreated behind the orange, midday sun. Though the wind still blew harshly at the family gathered around Regina and Hook, it did not rock the ship as dangerously as before. There was a steady hum that rung through everyone's ears, partly from shock, and partly from the ear piercing screams that had been released only moments before. The wooden flooring was still soaked with the seawater that had been pulled in by the hero and the damsel, and it was slippery, but none of that managed to cross their minds.

Snow stood in front of everyone else, just before the duo that took enormous thresholds of comfort from one another. It was never something she had witnessed from Regina, not even in the brief moments she had seen her with Daniel, not even when the woman was her mother. Though, those times were long gone. The pixie haired woman eyed the pirate warily, and Rumple stepped up next to her to get a better look at his protégé.

Regina's arms lingered tightly around Killian's shoulders, and her face stayed buried into the crook of his neck. He had wrapped his own arms around her tightly not long after he had drawn her into his lap, where her legs curled around his side. Hook's good arm rested comfortably on her shoulder, and his hand held the back of her head tightly, fingers weaving into dripping locks of her hair. His hooked arm cradled her back, so that they were pressed up against each other. But the serenity didn't last as long as he had hoped it would.

Her breathing quickly grew ragged when she felt the slowly decreasing distance between her and Snow. The hair on her arms stood straight, and goose bumps rose from her olive skin. Brown eyes, that had once been closed, snapped open, and Regina quickly scooted herself away from the pirate. She didn't accept his help with he offered her his hands; her body remained timid, unmoving, and she shook from the shock.

"Regina," Snow chided as if she were a small child. She felt an icy hand come to lie on her shoulder, but she shrugged it off. "Regina," the hand returned.

"Don't touch me." The brunette growled, but her stepdaughter did not back down. Hook noticed the change in the woman; he noticed the mask she had secretly drawn from her pocket and slipped over her once solemn face to hide her fear. He noticed how she cringed every time the princess tried to speak to her, touch her, and he noticed the resistance she was using begin to diminish. "Don't!" Regina screeched when Snow unexpectedly grabbed her wrist so she could face the woman.

"Stop being so stubborn, Regina! You almost died for gods sakes!" The sudden shout in return shocked everyone, including the distant queen, who turned her cold eyes onto the girl.

"I bet you would have liked that, wouldn't you have, Snow White?" She bit out her name in seamless pieces that rolled off of her tongue with the harsh delicacy she had mastered during her reign. "You've already ruined my life, why not take joy in watching it end all together, right?"

"I didn't ruin your life, Regina." The woman shook her head, a single finger raised to point at her accusingly. "You did."

"You killed my mother!" Regina shrieked. The high pitched sound managed to ring in the ears of the passengers, who watched with wide eyes and open mouths.

"You killed my father!"

"Daniel is dead because of you!" The queen cried, but the response fell on deaf ears.

"My daughter grew up alone because of you. I missed most her life." Snow countered, daring to step closer to the feared woman. Her hands gripped the sleeves of her raincoat and pulled it down to cover her fingers in her anger. "I missed her childhood." She went on to say more, but she was abruptly cut off.

"I missed _my_ childhood, Snow." Regina whispered sadly, and Snow stopped in her tracks. Regina's eyes cast downwards to her feet to hide the streaks of tears on her face; she had hoped they could have been mistaken for the water that rolled off of the ends of her hair when her head turned, but her stance told the truth. She shook her head slowly as her gaze returned to her step daughter. "I'm only six years older than you. I was trapped in a loveless marriage by the time I was eighteen, with an abusive man almost three times my age. I was forced to take care of the girl who was responsible for the death of my True Love. I was forced to tend to your every need! 'Snow's sick. Go take care of her, Regina.' And 'Snow's had a nightmare, go comfort her, Regina.' I didn't have a choice in the matter. My sole purpose in life was to be your babysitter for almost eight years!

"I tried; I really did. I tried loving you. You can ask Rumple, god knows that he knows everything! But I couldn't look at you every single day and _not _be reminded of Daniel…of my mother's hand in his _chest_. Of his lifeless form on the floor of the stables as the _dust _from his _heart_ slipped through her fingers…You think you know loss, but you know nothing! I lost my freedom the day I saved your life, and ever since I...I kept hoping that one night, maybe I would just die in my sleep…but truth is, I was already dead."

"Regina…" Emma called, but her whisper was lost on the wind. She hadn't known this about the mayor, and from the looks she saw on David and Snow's face, they hadn't known either.

"And then!" Regina continued. Her body was numb from rage, but she didn't miss that comforting hand that rested on her shoulder. "And then, the genie killed your father! I thought that maybe, just maybe I could get out, too! But I was too far gone to make it back. I had hoped…that when your life ended, I would be able to go on again. That I would be able to move on and be happy, but I was never able to kill you. You're mistaken with one regard, _dearest stepdaughter_. If I had truly wanted you dead, Snow, you would be buried next to your father right now." She shrugged Hook's hand off of her shoulder and pushed Rumple out of the way as she limped to her quarters.

Regina hated the way she could feel everyone's prying eyes boring into the back of her damp head. She hated the way they pitied her like some sort of animal run over in the middle of the road. And most of all, she hated how she could do nothing to change it. She would receive those looks for the rest of her life, however short that may be, and she didn't want them.

The ship suddenly became much too small for her liking. The four, simple walls seemed to close in on her until it felt as though she were being squeezed in between them. It became hard to breathe properly and even harder to think as she lay there, motionless on her flee-riddled mattress.

As if her body were on fire, Regina jumped up and scurried from her room. The uneven boards under her feet seemed even more rickety with each dawdling step she took. She reached Killian's room, not even bothering to knock on the door before she hurried in. Her body still shook from the cold, and it was evident when her hand reached for the doorknob.

"Breaking and entering now, love?" Hook smirked from behind her. The raven haired woman jumped. She turned to him, eyes narrowed and shaking hands clenched into tight balls at her side. "Come on…let's go." He moved to open the door for her, through which she readily walked. It closed with a click once they were both inside.

The pirate plopped down on his bed, which was slightly larger than the bunks the rest of them received. He patted the space next to him, and Regina hesitantly sat. She was still soaking wet, as if that were any clue to the man beside her. His arm snaked around her torso, pulling her into his side. "You're freezing." Killian muttered. He placed his boots back on the floor and hobbled over to his dresser before pulling out a rather large, white cotton shirt. With a fling of his arm, it flew across the room and landed in Regina's lap. "Put that on…promise I won't look." He remained facing the wall as he heard the sound of wet clothing hitting the floor. For a moment he was tempted to turn.

"You can look now." Her voice was small, too far past broken to be considered that, and as Hook turned, he realized that she looked just the same. She was tiny in the large sea man's shirt that hung down to her knees like a dress.

He trotted back over to the mattress, landing on it slightly less comfortable than the first time. His arm came back around her waist; he drew her even closer than before and rested his stubbly chin on the crown of her head. His hand drew circles on the skin of her forearm, and it didn't go unnoticed how Regina winced in pain.

Killian raised his eyebrows, pulling up the sleeve of her shirt and gasping at what he saw. "Love, are these…are these cigarette burns?"

"Cigar actually. Apparently Greg Mendel likes to smoke." She answered bitterly, and the brigand dropped his eyes back to her arm; scattered holes turned black in color lined her wrist up to her bicep and then down again.

"I'm sorry I handed you over to them…that was—I," He stammered. "I shouldn't have done that."

"And why not?" Regina laughed. "I threw you into a pit with Maleficent! You had every right to be mad."

"I had no right to let them do that, though…I—" A small hand curled around the base of his jaw—effectively cutting him off—and turned his head so that he looked Regina in the eyes. Before he could attest to what was happening, she planted her lips firmly on his. It felt like something inside of him caught fire, exploded even. He immediately kissed back, hands reaching for her face to pull her up even closer. She wound her delicate fingers through his thick, dark hair, eliciting a deep chuckling from the pirate beside her. Regina pulled away with a smile on her face. "What?" She grinned.

"Nothing, love. Nothing at all." He pulled her in by his side and scooted himself back on the bed so that they were laying parallel to each other, faces only mere inches apart. They mirrored each other, one arm bent at the elbow to support their heads, and the other lying limply at their sides. The silence between the two was welcoming, and neither made any move to push farther into their recent events.

"Tell me about her," Regina finally chirped, removing her eyes from the tattoo on his wrist. "Milah." She tested the name with a slight pause in the middle before smiling at the blushing pirate across from her. "She was special to you…"

"Very. Much like your dear stable boy." Killian saw the darkness flutter through her dark eyes, and abruptly continued. "Kind, gentle…and she was smart. Sharp even."

"What happened to her?"

"Rumpelstiltskin ripped her heart out right in front of me." Regina's eyes widened; the similarity was uncanny, and even though she felt a wave of sympathy pass over her for the man, she couldn't help but feel relieved that someone understood her pain. Someone understood why she couldn't let it go, why it ate her up until she was nothing but a hollow shell of the person she used to be. "I've been out for revenge ever since…thought it would bring me happiness."

"Did it?" The queen asked, hopeful that the answer would be a yes, hopeful that there was a chance for her yet. Inside, she knew otherwise. Just by looking at the swashbuckler she could tell that he was in immense pain, and she was only reassured of this by the slight shake of the head he gave. "He who seeks revenge must dig two graves: one for his enemy and one for himself." She muttered solemnly, recalling a quote she had read from her early years in Storybrooke. With a yawn, Regina smiled and brought a hand up to cup Killian's cheek. "Thank you," she whispered. "For saving me."

"Anytime, darling." Hook pulled her into him so that they were huddled closely in the comforts of his bed. His arms wrapped around her protectively, and hers rested flatly on his chest. Her nose buried into the crook of his neck, and his cheek pressed into the softness of her dark hair. This was comfortable…this was…right. "Anytime."

**Okay, thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you for all of the lovely reviews…angsty chapter right here:) **

**Thank you again:) Did you like it? Should I continue with this? Read review and I will update ASAP:)))**


	3. Chapter 3

When morning came, the light that usually flittered through the open porthole above his bed was solemn and rare. Small, yellow rays slipped in silently and blanketed the cabin with unwanted brightness and the smell of the salt water sea. It stirred Killian from his slumber, and he opened his sleep-riddled eyes to find that the brown haired beauty had indeed stayed the night. His heart filled with warmth, and it was then that he noticed the numb, aching feeling in his arm. Shifting carefully, he attempted to pull his forearm from under her head, to no avail when she rolled over to face him with open eyes.

"Good morning." She whispered quietly, and the vulnerability she was showing Hook caught him off guard. Her usually fiery eyes were filled with sadness and heartache, and her brown hair was tussled messily around her face in knots. Her makeup had been smeared off, leaving mascara to smudge under her dark eyes.

"Morning, Love." He whispered back, fully aware of the closeness between them; it made his heart beat all the faster. He was sure hers was too, and if it weren't for the fact that he was completely mesmerized by her, he figured he would have heard it. "Feeling better?"

With a shake of her head, Regina answered. Her silence was enough, though it wasn't comforting in the least. Killian slid his arm down her body to her waist and pulled her into him so that they were pressed together. His lips pressed softly to hers, once again igniting the fire in his core as the cold metal of his hook gently traced the line of her jaw.

The kindness he showed her was remarkable, and Regina couldn't help but try and remember the last time anyone had showed her any. She couldn't, and the joy she was feeling died in the pit of her stomach. Something wasn't right, or maybe it was and it shouldn't have been. She retracted from the embrace quickly and scrambled to her bare feet. Her hands smoothed out the nightshirt she had put on as she turned around and placed a hand to her mouth.

"What is it?" The genuine concern in Hook's voice elicited a sharp sob that caused her shoulders to heave forward painfully. "Love," he called as he rolled onto his feet. When he made to take a step forward, she took a step back, resulting in him raising his arms and widening his eyes. "Regina," he whispered softly, and he carefully stepped towards her. It was like she was a glass doll, and with one wrong touch she would break. His mind roamed through various thoughts until he reached her, and he gently placed his hand to her cheek to lift her eyes up to his.

They were filled with tears that streamed quickly down her face in perfect lines, shattering on the long nightshirt like the glass he thought her made of. "Stop." She whispered, but it was lost on him. His thumb absently traced the contour of her cheekbone. "Stop." She said again. When he moved to wipe away a fallen tear, she swatted his hand away. "Stop it! I said stop!" Instead of pulling away like she wanted him to, Killian pulled her to his chest where she began to struggle and beat violently against the muscles there.

"Regina, calm down." Her cries nearly broke his heart, but he remained strong and gripped her wrist tightly in his good hand to stop her from hitting him. She gasped in shock. "Regina, love. Calm down, no one is going to hurt you." Her breathing seemed to even out, coming out in shaky breaths instead of harsh gasps. "Now tell me; what's wrong?"

Regina shook her head and looked away, ashamed. "I-," she stammered. "I don't know." It was almost as if she were disappointed by that fact, and the pirate frowned. "I don't know." She repeated, this time more accepting.

"And that is perfectly fine. Why don't we go get you something to eat, and then we can talk." Regina nodded her head and took his hand in hers after he had released her. They were almost to the door when she abruptly halted and backed away.

"I-I can't go out there. I can't face her after everything I said yesterday." Hook nodded his head slowly, taking in what she had said before he took the time to respond.

"I'll go and get some food and bring it back for you then...how does that sound?" At her nod, he smiled politely and stepped silently out of the room. The door closed softly behind him, and faintly, Hook could hear the sound of the bed creaking as she plopped down on it.

"So there's nothing going on between you two, then?" The unexpected voice from behind shocked him, and Killian nearly jumped out of his skin. He whipped around to face the long-haired blonde who stood with a knowing smirk on her face, and he had to hold back a growl.

"What do you want?" He muttered, pushing himself forward after shrugging her away.

"I was looking for Regina...I kinda wanted to talk about what she said yesterday." Emma began making her way for the knob, but Killian threw himself in front of her.

"'Fraid I can't let you in there... Y'see...'Er Majesty doesn't really want visitors right now."

Emma frowned, backing away slowly whilst shaking her head. "Well, alrighty then." She turned abruptly on her heel and scurried down the hallway. When Hook was positive she was out of sight, he leaned back against the door and let out a breath he hasn't realized he was holding. Momentarily his eyes fluttered shut before he pushed himself off the wooden port and trudged down the hallway, opposite of the way the irritating blonde had gone.

* * *

Emma peered around the corner after the thumping of the pirate's boots had faded away. Her hands were set on the wall, one above the other as she peaked over them. When she was reassured that the coast was clear, she picked up her pace to a jog as she crossed to the end of the long corridor.

Her movements abruptly stopped in front of the Captain's Quarters, hand hovering just over the knob. Doubts ran quickly through her mind, but she brushed them away before she stumbled through the door.

She wasn't prepared for what she saw: a broken looking woman sitting in the middle of a large bed with her head in her hands as her body shook violently. Regina looked up for a moment, expecting to see Killian, and her face contorted into horror as she was met with the pitiful gaze of the younger blonde.

"What do you want?" She bit through clenched teeth.

Emma swallowed. "T-Talk...I wanted to talk." Her throat suddenly seemed dry, and no matter how many times she cleared it, the feeling wouldn't leave. She swallowed and opened her mouth to say something, but no sound came out.

"You know, Ms. Swan, the point of talking is to actually say words." Even Regina's comment lacked the usual fiery sarcasm that normally accompanied everything she said. It was dead, the voice of a woman who had been broken and had given up on the world, and it sickened the younger woman to her core.

"I-I...Regina, I had no idea that you had...that you-," she couldn't form the words she wanted to, and she continued to struggle for sentences as Regina shook her head.

"Save it. I don't need nor want your pity."

"It's not pity. It's just...Regina, no one should have to go through that."

"That, Ms. Swan, is pity. You can deny it all you want, but we both know that the sorrow in your voice is really pity, and we both know that you don't really mean it. So leave, save your breath and return to your perfect, little family before they notice you've gone missing." Regina turned away from the woman and ran a hand through her still matted hair. A shaky breath escaped her lips when she struggled to wipe away the tears on her cheeks.

When she heard no movement from Emma, Regina sighed in defeat, her shoulders slumping forward once again. There was a painfulness in her heart, even though she was pretty sure she didn't have one. It left her feeling empty, more so than before without her son by her side, and she was positive that Emma was feeling the same exact thing. She took a deep breath through her nose before she shifted from her place on the bed and patted the spot next to her. "Come." She whispered. "Sit."

Emma's eyes widened, but she listened to Regina's instruction and scooted over the bed to sit next to her, careful not to disrupt the nice arrangement of assorted pillows. Her legs crossed under her thighs, and her arms dropped into her lap while she stared nervously down out her hands. From beside her, she heard Regina release a shaky breath. Giving into her temptations, she opened her mouth to speak. However, the former Evil Queen spoke up, her voice devoid of all emotion, startling the younger woman into silence.

"I assume you want an explanation," Regina began. Emma held up her small hand to quiet the brunette beside her, aware of the fear that came with going over traumatic experiences.

"I don't want anything, Regina..." she paused before she continued. "Just know that if ever, you want someone to talk to, I'm here, and I won't judge you." Regina turned her head to gape at Emma. There were a lot of things she expected from the younger woman, but a sincere offer for a shoulder to cry on was definitely not one of them.

"Thank you, Ms. Swan...I- That means a lot." It was all she could manage to say, because it was the only thing she would allow to escape her mouth without thinking.

An awkward aura settled over the two after a few moments of silence, filled only by the sound of Regina's sob-filled breathing as she attempted to calm herself.

"How are you doing?" Emma finally asked, hastily. When Regina quirked a perfect brow, she rushed on, managing to slur her words in the process. "With Henry, I mean...I know it hasn't exactly been easy for me, so I can only imagine what you're going through."

"I'm scared." The former queen replied more honestly than she would have liked. "I told him that I wouldn't leave him alone, and now he's out there all by himself with two homicidal maniacs, and there's nothing I can do." She sighed, brushing a lock of tangled brown hair out of her eyes.

Emma reached a hand over and took Regina's smaller one in hers. It was awkward; comfort had never been her strong point, and she knew that. "He's going to be alright, Regina. Hell, he's going to be more than alright. He had you as a mother!"

Regina chuckled softly, managing to crack a slight smile even through her tears. She retracted her hand from Emma's after muttering a quiet "Thank you."

"Yeah, I should probably go anyways...Hook seemed dead set on not letting anyone in here, so I don't exactly want to be here for him to catch me." Emma smiled genuinely.

"Emma, wait!" Regina called from the bed. The blonde turned, her hand resting on the rusty door knob. "There's-I mean...Nothing happened." The sudden want to explain herself to a Charming came as a surprise, but as the words slipped past her lips, the feeling in her stomach lightened, bringing her at least some solace.

Emma nodded and turned back around to leave, but she thought better of it. "Remember," she almost whispered. "If you ever need anyone to talk to...you know where to find me." The door creaked open and shut quietly, and Regina sighed.

She fell back onto the soft sheets, hair fanned around her olive-skinned features. Her eyes met an invisible place on the ceiling, and with a long, sharp breath through her nose, she closed her eyes and fell into the darkness that awaited her.

**I know, I know. I am so very sorry for the long wait. It has been a really REALLY busy month, and while I had time to update another story, even that time was limited. I am returning home today, so hopefully there will be another chapter out by Thursday or Friday, but I make no promises. Thank you guys so much for all of your lovely reviews, and please do keep them coming! **


	4. Chapter 4

There was land in the distance: green and brown soil that lined the coastline perfectly, and the winds rolled off of it smoothly. It whirled around her; the white sleeping shirt she was wearing fluttered between the gap in her legs as it pressed against her body. The moon spilled its white light over the deck of the ship like a blanket, quiet and calm…and safe. Regina's hands gripped the railing tightly, though her balance faltered with every wave that rammed into the side of the ship. The floor board creaked ever so quietly o'er the sound of the wake beneath her, and she drew in a deep breath, unsure of who had stopped only mere feet from behind her.

"When Henry was in the fifth grade," she began nervously, "he found the adoption papers in the cabinet above the old TV shelf in the living room, and I swear it took almost a year for him to begin to talk to me again. I had never felt more…rejected, but eventually he came to forgive me and we started anew. I swore to him that I would never keep anything from him again…but I did, and I was afraid I had lost him forever—I almost did—but he found it in himself to forgive me another time. This time…this time I don't know if I'll get him back." She released a shaky breath through semi-parted, red lips before turning around to face whoever it was behind her. "And I'm terrified. Honestly, I don't think I've ever been more afraid in my life."

Regina was not surprised when she looked up and met the eyes of Snow: sad and discouraged. She put her hands out behind her to brace herself against the railing of the ship and leaned back. The cotton of the shirt she wore gritted against the grimy wood she rested on. Snow sighed with a small nod of understanding before she too turned around and leaned against the side.

"When I found out that Emma was going to have to come here all alone…I honestly don't know what I was thinking. I actually don't think I was…because what kind of mother puts her daughter in a wooden closet and send her to another world? Even if it is for the right reason. I remember sitting there, for the last few seconds before the curse pulled us away, and wondering if I would ever see her again. It was the scariest thing in my life, but I swore I would find her. And I did." She reached out and grabbed Regina's hand, but the older brunette shrugged her away, still not comfortable to be around her. Snow pulled back slowly with a disappointed frown. "Regina, we'll find him. If there's one promise that I will keep…it's that one." Without another word, the pixie haired woman scooted off, leaving Regina to her thoughts and misery like she had before, but with a little more confidence in their voyage. The former Evil Queen turned back around to stare at the island ahead of her. Her heart fluttered; so loud she could hear in through the shakes in her body.

"What was that about, Love?" Regina startled when Killian wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her against him.

"N—it was nothing…just wanted to see how I was doing." The raven woman sighed. "When are we going to get off of this damned boat?"

The pirate chuckled heartily, and his tight leather jacket shook with his laughs. The sound was soothing to Regina's heart and almost made the corners of her mouth turn up in a smirk. "In the morning, darling. You getting sick of this ship already?"

"Not just the ship." She deadpanned, and her eyes flicked over to the Charmings talking on the other side of the deck. "Where's Rumple?" She demanded, noticing his absence after a few seconds of silence, and Hook momentarily stopped breathing.

"In his quarters. Last I heard he was going through a rough patch." Regina pulled herself away from the embrace heavily. Her hair swung behind her and the shirt pressed back against her once more as the wind picked up again. Killian raised an eyebrow quizzically as the woman marched away from him and down the mahogany stairs before disappearing into the dark hallway completely. There was just something about her that he couldn't quite place…but he loved it.

* * *

"Rumple, open the door." Regina demanded for the third time. Her patience was growing very thin, almost matching the crescent moon that hung over her head. "Rumple, please open the door."

She heard the small creak of the floorboards before she heard the latch of the lock, and eventually, the door swung open slowly. Gold had his back to her as he looked down at something in his hands. "I just got him back."

"I heard," Regina sighed sadly. "I know how much finding your son meant to you. I'm so sorry Rumple." She truly was, too. It had been her fault after all. If she hadn't trusted Hook that time, if she hadn't taken the cuff back, if she had fought Greg and Tamara when they took her…Neal would still be alive and Henry would still be with her.

"It's my price." He muttered.

"What?"

"It's my price. It's the price I had to pay for power and magic, and it wasn't worth it. It wasn't worth it." Rumple raised a hand to his face and wiped under his eyes, determined not to let Regina's see him like that. "It's all my fault. He hated me and I let him die. It's all my fault."

"Neal loved you, Gold. Even if you didn't see that, he loved you more than you know. You're his father. He could never hate you." She heeded her own words more keenly than she would have liked to admit.

"How do you know that?" Gold grumbled angrily, and she could see his hand mold tightly into a fist.

"Did you meet my mother?" Regina sharply replied. Though the sarcasm in her voice was barely there, the comment elicited a light chuckle from the imp. "Seriously, though. Neal did love you. Why do you think he was so angry?" The gest seemed to shut the whining up, and when the old man took in a deep breath and released it, Regina released a sigh of her own. She waited until he gave her a nod before she turned and steadily left the room in silence.

Regina had barely made it up the steps to the deck when the ship came to an abrupt halt and threw her back down the stairs. Her arms and legs flailed in every direction, and she was pretty sure she had hit her head one or two times on her way down. "What the hell?" she muttered, a hand rubbing the back of her hair.

She staggered onto the open surface with delicate silence as she watched the scene play out before her. There were four men, all clad in a velvety black cloak, and all ransacking the ship. Killian was nowhere in sight, and the Charmings had all huddled into a corner as they watched, defenseless.

"Can I help you?" She drawled, stalking over to the young boys like a viper. They sneered back down at her, drawing their swords quickly and stealthily. "I wouldn't do that if I were you." Fire ignited hotly in the palm of her pale hand. It glowed brighter when they charged her; the orange and yellow rays filtered off of it and lit up the boat in the midst of her fury. The boys, now draped in burned capes and torn hoods, staggered back. Three were burned, and the other lay face down on the wooden floor; dead. Regina herself suffered no injuries—at least none that wouldn't heal with a little magic. "Don't make me repeat myself, boys. Can I help you?"

"Peter wants the Captain, and he doesn't like being denied what he wants." The seemingly eldest of the three dared.

"Well, then I guess there's something we have in common. You go and you tell Peter to come and deal with that himself. Now, I suggest you leave before things get…ugly." Her voice teetered dangerously on the edge of insanity and crazed blood lust. "And don't forget you friend, _dear._" Before all three could exit the ship, Regina whipped forward with her hands barred. Instantaneously, two hearts appeared in her hand before quickly turning to ashen dust on the floor beside her. The older boy opened his mouth in fear and disagreement, but Regina only smirked. "It only takes _one _to deliver a message."

When she turned to face the still cowering family, they only shrunk back more. Her hands raised to her eyes, and she examined the blood on them with horror. She shifted her vision from Snow to her fingers, to Charming and back, and then to Emma and back to her reddened hands. "What's happening to me?"

"Regina," she heard, but he didn't respond. "Love, are you alright?"

She shook her head. "Uh, uh." A hand gripped one of hers as the man studied the blood dripping from them. She drew it back quickly, and the blood smeared against her nightshirt. When she sifted her other hand through her hair it smeared along her porcelain features and through the tangled black locks.

"Regina, looked at me." She ignored him and continued to stare down at her palms. Her brow furrowed occasionally, switching between utter confusion and sorrow, but never sadness or anger. "Regina," Killian beckoned. "Regina! Look at me!" His thunderous voice jumpstarted her back into reality, and her eyes eventually met his. "Who were they?"

"Th-The Lost Boys…I think." She whispered calmly, but the calm quickly faded and turned to panic. "Killian! You have to leave! They said Peter wants you! They'll come back for you." Tears bubbled along her lower eyelid, threatening to break free and mar her perfect skin.

"Regina, did you use magic?" Hook asked quietly, but her attention had returned to her hands. "Regina! Answer the question! Did you use magic?"

"I—I…Yeah, I think so." Her memory had become fuzzy, as it always had when she got mad.

"Shit." He muttered quietly. "Shit, Regina! Why would you do that!" His booming voice scared her, and she shuffled back with a raised arm to protect herself from an invisible blow.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" She cried, and Hook immediately calmed. He pulled one of her arms down with his good arm so that he could look her in the eye. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." It was like she was looking right through him, remembering something from her past that had traumatized her. "I'm sorry." Killian pulled down her other arm. "I'm sorry." His arms wrapped around her tightly so that she shook against him. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright, Regina." He attempted to soothe her.

"I'm sorry."

**Okay, one I am so super sorry about the wait. My life has been really hard lately because two family members have been in the hospital, and a lot of crap has just been going on. I promise to try and update more when I can, but I ask of you to just bear with me here. I'm trying. Two, thank you for all of the reviews and follows and all of the lovely things everyone is saying about this story. **

**Please review, tell me what you like, what you don't like, and everything else so that I can fix it or maybe add something to it in the future:) **

**Now, why do you think Regina shouldn't have used magic, huh? Idk either…but it'll come to me. Lol**

**Again, thank you so very much for all of your lovely reviews. I will try and update by Wednesday, but if I don't, just read the first paragraph of this Author's Note.**


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